First and foremost, a lot has happened in the short time I have been gone. I hope you and your close ones are well and safe, and for the first time in a long time, I have no words. I hope Sincerely, E can be a distraction – a place that is positive and enlightening – to perhaps escape some of the madness out there. As important as it is to be aware, stand up for our beliefs and what is right, we’re also human and it’s okay to want to switch off for a while. It’s an overwhelming whirlpool out there.
It has only been five months since my last appearance here. My absence was a much needed one but, even so, I missed this. You might not care what I got up to in my sudden free time (or maybe you do because you clicked on this link somewhere, right?). I’ll sum it up for you in one paragraph, in case you are in fact, curious.
I have always loved reading and indulging myself in a good novel, but these last few months I have really rekindled my passion for books. Reading every day, researching new genres I have never experienced and I even started my own Bookstagram like the nerdy gal that I am (@ellreadsbooks on Instagram if you’re a nerd, too). I took a break from writing, even though I wanted a break from blogging to be able to write more seriously… I was kidding myself, anyway. I have been blogging for so long, I could do it with my eyes closed (did you know I haven’t opened them since the first sentence?). I went through a brief phase of severe anxiety, but what’s new there – made some new friends, which I think is an extremely hard thing to do once you leave school, and especially if you struggle with social anxiety. I got into exercising and actually using my $17 a week gym membership, and even started saving money after working full-time for five years. I know you’re also wondering about my cat, dear three-legged Tyga – he is sitting on my lap, walking over the keyboard as I write this, so I suppose my first article back is only co-written by me.
Almost one year ago, I published Finding Myself at 20. The funny thing is, in the 12 months since writing that article, I don’t think I found myself at all. In fact, why do we feel the need to “find ourselves”? Who ever told us we were lost in the first place? We are not objects you accidentally leave behind at the park or in an Uber (most of the time..). Speaking for myself, I think the “real me” has been there all along, but by allowing external expectations, other people’s opinions and my own toxic thoughts to take over, the real version of myself dug a hole, deeper and deeper down until I forgot who that person was. But, that doesn’t mean I was lost – I knew I could bring myself out of the darkness soon enough.
And here we are – back where it all started ten years ago (although my vocabulary and grammar has improved since then.. I hope). I am relieved I gave myself a break from the pressures of posting content and trying too hard to write what I thought people would enjoy. The passion I once had for writing had vanished, and overthinking the words I wanted to say was stopping me from writing altogether. Along my journey of not finding myself this year, I realised that other people’s opinions are just that – opinions. They don’t make or break you as a person, just because someone thinks something of you, doesn’t mean it is you or true to your character. All we can do in this life is be ourselves and hope to find likeminded people who love you for simply being you.
Well, I bet you thought this would be another of my sarcastic and light-hearted pieces.. boy, were you wrong! It’s great to be back, feeling like myself again, and I hope you will come along this new journey with me. I look forward to seeing where Sincerely, E goes from here.
Until next time,